Friday, April 29, 2011

Why I'll never wax again


Just for your information, that picture is NOT a realistic portret of waxing. It really is more something like this:



Ok, so let me tell you about my one and only experience with waxing, right now I have a good laugh thinking about it but at the time itself it was NOT funny :p
Back in the day, when I had just turned 19 and was in my summer holidays I was in an experimenting mood. I was going to see my then Irish boyfriend in September, and naturally I wanted to look fabulous for him as I only got to see him every few months (which sucked by the way). Of course I also wanted to look good for sexy time, so the thought of having to shave Down Under every two days to keep things smooth and avoiding the awkward 'hair in mouth' situation during the whole you-know-what-I-mean time, got me thinking about waxing. I had never tried, as it seemed time consuming and I had seen on tv that it hurt, but the thought of being supersmooth for almost two weeks did sound good. So 19-year old me went off to the supermarket and got herself some Veet wax strips.

I went up to bathroom ready to get cracking. I knew it would probably hurt, but really, how bad could it be? One quick tug and the pain would be over in a second, right? I read the box first, the advice on it was to not do the bikini area when first trying out waxing. It said better do the legs. But stupid young me disregarded this information for unknown reasons and thoughy legs smeghs, it's the bikini area I want done! So I got out the waxstrips and sticked them on Down Under. I grabbed the edge, mentally prepared myself for unpleasantness and pulled.
I think I got about 2cm far before stopping and screaming and crying AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. Luckily I was home alone, would have been weird to explain. The tiny little square I managed to pull off wasn't even all off and it was bleeding and red as a lobster. This was not what tv told me it would look like!! Tv LIED!
No need to say that I did not continue waxing the rest. I did have a perfectly smooth tiny patch for a while, but damn it is not worth it!
Ok maybe I should have tried the legs first, and I have heard doing it yourself is not the best idea, as inflicting pain on self is not easy to do. But no way I am trying that again. The person who invented those nasty things must have been an SM- lover, who would want to do that over and over again!!

And to getting it done:


Umm no thanks, only my gyneacologist gets to poke around down there and my boyfriend :p I may sound prudish, but having some random person spreading my legs and sticking those things all over does not sound very appealing and comfortable to me. Also, I do not believe AT ALL, that a professional will be able to make it not hurt like a motherf******.

Razor, sorry for ever doubting you, I love you and your painfree ways. Who cares if you have to redo it so often, it takes about two minutes to do and you won't be screaming, bleeding, all red or be embarassed by someone spreading things to get the wax there.

Nope, no more waxing for me!

What about you, any funny experiences to share about the female problem that is trying to be all smooth for sexy time?

Although men are starting to put some effort in it too, which I, if I may be so bold to say, do not mind at all! :p

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