I've come through

Even though there are still things in my life right now that make me sad and blue, I know that I'm strong enough to get over it, and feel better the next day. I know that because as a teenager I was really low, due to certain painful events, and I wasn't able to cope with it properly. It took me a long time to feel happy about myself and forget about the painful experiences, and getting my heart broken badly along the way to growing up didn't help.
But now I feel like I've pulled my act together and I've learned better ways of dealing with sad things. I've put the past in a box, not forgotten, but it has a place now and it doesn't bother me anymore.

I used to think life was really cruel, that other people seemed to get all the luck and I got all the crap, but when you look around properly you realise that really isn't so. There will always be people who are better or worse off then yourself, you should find the good in your own life. I once got a poster from a guy with a long quotation from Desiderata, and what it said really made sense to me, especially the end:

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.


And it really is a beautiful world. I've come to realise that lately, now that I'm truly entering grown-up life. Things won't always work out the way you want them to, you will get hurt, you will have sad moments, you might feel bad about yourself, but the key is to not focus on these things. They will pass, you won't feel sad forever. Happy moments will come along. And it's those that make life worth living, it's those you should think about instead of hanging on to things that will only make you bitter. As a young girl growing up, it's too difficult sometimes to see the good, you're still unable to look further in the future and emotions run wild and sometimes they're all over the place and you have no way to contain them. This is what often leads to bad ways of coping. Luckily, we do grow up, we learn to control our emotions and find ways to cope.

Although being a teenager was fun at times, I'm glad I've grown up and feel better in my skin and about life in general. No more sitting alone in a dark room feeling sad and pondering, time to get out, and if you're still there, get out now! Go outside, there are better things out there.
There is so much good in the world and so many beautiful things to see and amazing things to experience.

I learned to focus on the little things. When I feel blue, I might have myself a good cry for a moment, but then it's time to get up and dry my tears and laugh again.

What are the little things for me that make life great?

* Singing loudly in the shower, not caring who hears
* A nice evening at home with my family watching tv
* People who show real gratitude for me helping them at work
* My dogs happy and greeting me when I come home
* Wearing an outfit that makes me feel confident and attractive
* Laughing with friends and reminiscing crazy moments from the days in school
* Shopping with my mom
* Seeing a great movie
* Sitting in the garden under the parasol on a sunny day, just enjoying
* Getting a compliment
* Be amazed when seeing a beautiful place
* Hearing great stories of family members long gone
* Seeing cute babies
* Making new friends

There are so many more. If you had to list all the little things that put a smile on your face and make you feel good, that list might very well be very very long. Think about it, you might realise life is short, and not seeing for what it really is, is a true waste.
Strive to be happy!

Busy twenties

If you're in your twenties, perhaps like me you've had moments thinking "time seems to be going a lot faster than in my teens and childhood!!". It really does seem that way. Being sixteen seems not to have been that long ago, in my head, but it's actually nearly 8 years ago now, 8!! That's crazy, where did all that time go! Maybe it's because when you're younger you long for being grown up, and once you are, you long to stop growing up already! And don't you agree that all the mayor events in your life seem to (ideally) fall in your twenties? Events like graduating, finding a job, moving out of the parent's house, moving in with a boyfriend/girlfriend, getting married, having a first child.. That's a lot of events!! And I'm almost 24 now, graduating and finding a job I managed to achieve so far, but I still live at home (for now).

I guess I still have six years before the big 3 0, and things can go fast all of the sudden, but don't you agree that ten years seems awfully short for most of life's mayor events to happen in! You just got out of childhood and BAM! time to be a real adult and have tons of responsibilities. After your thirties the life altering events seem to be over with usually. But time really is going so fast, can't believe so many years have gone by already.

I wonder what my life will be like at thirty. Will all those events have happened yet? Would be pretty crazy, can't imagine that right now, but it might. Sometimes I think it never will, haven't had much luck in love. I'm not in a hurry, but every now and then; when I see friends happy living with the man of their dreams, thinking about their future together, I feel sad and worried sometimes. The whole settling down part is important to me, I always knew I wanted a family. But I want it to be perfect and with the perfect guy, someone who truly loves, someone I have fun with. And when the time is right, when perhaps I get pregnant some day, I'd want my man to be happy, in a kiss me belly in joy romantic kind of way. Maybe it's corny, but it's what I hope I'll have some day. I'm in no way baby crazy, but I'm a woman, it's something we think about. For now, I just want to be loved by someone..

My dad just had a birthday last weekend, he's 55 now. He's already nagging about being a grandfather. Really dad, I'm not yet 24! It's his own fault for waiting to have me until thirty! He'll just have to deal he'll probably be closing in on 60 by the time he has a grandkid he can play with. He'll be a great grandad though, although I'm sure he'll get the kids all hyper and crazy with his mad playing. It's something nice to look forward to.

Some day